It fascinates me that when our lives begin, we have so much support and guidance given to those that are helping to bring life into the world. We have many elders that will guide us down the road of birth and offer advice on the best way to care for a newborn child. This is in addition to all of our friends, who cannot wait to be supportive and offer their input and suggestions on whatever obstacles we will face. There are so many new products to “try” and all are geared at improving our experience with a new baby. One can go to any bookstore (new or used) and find a multitude of books or manuals to guide us. Not to mention, there are medical specialists available to assist us in anyway possible.
Historically as we age and head towards our own mortality, or support loved ones on theirs, there is not a plethora of support or information available. Friends shy away from visiting those sick or nearing their end of their life journey. The same level of support is significantly lacking for both the person on the journey and those family and friends who are caring for the loved one. There has not been enough “talk” or “openness” about the subject, therefore, it’s awkward and uncomfortable for all.
We need to start to look at death differently. It’s a journey that we shall all go down one day. It’s unfortunate that during this time there is not more of a celebration vs. sorrow. Yes, we will be sad when we lose a loved one, however, why do we not focus our mind on all the wonderful memories we have had with this person? We should focus more on the legacy of the person’s life and shine the light on all the happiness they have brought to family and friends over the years. I think that if you were to ask most during their last weeks of time, do you want me to cry over your death or celebrate your life?; most would choose a celebration. I myself, would not want my last moments to be surrounded by loved ones crying hysterically over me. Do you remember how you feel when someone you love cries? That depressing and sad energy is transferred from one to the other. Think about happiness and those feelings. If others are happy and upbeat, that same energy is transferred to others you come in contact with.
I challenge you, no matter your age, to think about how you would want people to react when you are passing. Do you want them all sad and sorrowful? Do you want them to feel awful and terrible? I think most people would want friends and family focusing on the best of times, the happy times. You can have a graceful passing ,if ahead of time, you have set the expectations of how you would ideally like to transition. I would not say that dying is a “passing”. If someone passes we can feel like we are leaving someone behind as we move forward. Dying is a transition, a process of changing from one state (physical) to another state (spiritual). Our loved ones remain along our journey, we do not leave them behind, they are with us always, just in another state.